Sucking for Comfort
We all know that breastfeeding is best for baby. It provides a mother's nutrients to help a child grow and mother's antibodies to fight off infection. But more importantly, breastfeeding provides comfort.
Anyone who looks at a child sucking on a mother's breast knows that feeding is only part of the equation. When a child is sucking, its entire body relaxes and the child's expression is almost trance-like with pleasure and contentment. It's a though the child is getting a 'fix'; but of the best and most healthy sort. Breastfeeding provides a child with emotional and psychological needs; it perks them up, it calms them down, it reassures, it takes away pain. To a child, drinking mother's milk is like that first cup of coffee in the morning, that sociable afternoon cup of tea, the martini after a hard day's work.
John Bowlby, a pioneering researcher in personality development, noted that sucking serves two purposes. One purpose is nutritional, the other being 'attachment'. This, he described is the complicated process in which a baby learns to interact and trust its mother, preparing itself for interacting with people she will meet in later life. He wrote 'and to suppose that nutrition is in some way of primary significance and that attachment is only secondary would be a mistake. In fact, far more time is spent in non-nutritional sucking than in nutritional'.
As a child grows older the balance between nourishment and comfort goes through a 180 degrees turn. When first born, the focus is on nourishment; getting the mother's nutrients to grow strong and healthy. But as the child grows, breastfeeding is more about getting mother's comfort to grow mentally strong and healthy. In fact, when a child is 'fully weaned', breastfeeding isn't needed at all for nourishment. In can often seem strange for some people to think of a small child who has learnt to eat at the family table or 'raid the fridge' all by themselves still going to mother for breastfeeding. Mother's who still breastfeed way passed their child's first birthday know only too well how important breastfeeding is for their child's psychological well-being. They know so because their children tell them! One of the great pleasures to a mother is when her child articulates what it means to them to be breastfeed. Children will often tell their mothers how 'delicious' mother's milk is, or call mother's breast by some special name, or how mommy's milk is so good they want their teddy bear to share it!
Some mother's are concerned that comfort nursing encourages their child to turn for food for comfort. But this isn't so. The child isn't turning to food for comfort but rather the physical comfort offered by mother: a child is learning to seek comfort and reassurance in people. When observing children who aren't breastfeeding we see the same behaviour: a need for comfort being expressed through sucking. If a child doesn't have mother's breast to suck on it will find a replacement; a bottle, pacifier, thumb, hair, toy, blanket etc.
The next time you take your child to breast, look closely and observe the utter relaxation, contentment and trust your child has placed in you. By giving her your breast milk you are not only giving the nutrients she needs to thrive physically in her childhood, but the comfort she needs to thrive mentally and emotionally into her adulthood.
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